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Summer
Sept 6, 2008 18:14:40 GMT -7
Post by canadaboy on Sept 6, 2008 18:14:40 GMT -7
A time to relax And to forget your troubles Enjoying freedom
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Summer
Sept 6, 2008 20:23:32 GMT -7
Post by Ink® on Sept 6, 2008 20:23:32 GMT -7
It's pretty good, but the 2nd line is only 6 not 7.
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Summer
Sept 7, 2008 6:55:35 GMT -7
Post by Colour or Lour™ on Sept 7, 2008 6:55:35 GMT -7
I like it. Though the word choice is not very poetic, no offense.
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Summer
Sept 7, 2008 8:51:17 GMT -7
Post by Ink® on Sept 7, 2008 8:51:17 GMT -7
Oh, I just realized it is long enough. I must be going insane for real. I agree with Lour though, haikus are supposed to be more about nature itself and not people enjoying nature or something. I don't know, it's lacking the capture of beauty I think.
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Summer
Sept 7, 2008 8:59:24 GMT -7
Post by canadaboy on Sept 7, 2008 8:59:24 GMT -7
ok i'm not sooo good with haiku im trying to start them now
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Summer
Sept 7, 2008 9:02:07 GMT -7
Post by Ink® on Sept 7, 2008 9:02:07 GMT -7
Yeah, that's fine. I don't know how to give advice for writing in haiku though, sorry. ^^
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Summer
Sept 7, 2008 9:03:49 GMT -7
Post by canadaboy on Sept 7, 2008 9:03:49 GMT -7
you already gave some!
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Summer
Sept 7, 2008 9:05:18 GMT -7
Post by Ink® on Sept 7, 2008 9:05:18 GMT -7
Well yeah, I meant besides that. ^^
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Summer
Sept 7, 2008 9:08:27 GMT -7
Post by canadaboy on Sept 7, 2008 9:08:27 GMT -7
oh ya its hard to give advie becuase these have to be short and precise
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Summer
Sept 7, 2008 9:18:38 GMT -7
Post by Ink® on Sept 7, 2008 9:18:38 GMT -7
Yeps.
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